2021 holy shit a life update

 How long I haven't been signed in to this blog?

I miss the time where I ranted some random stuff here and socialised with some of my blogger friends - which I have very little idea what are they up to by now. (unless we're mutuals on instagram and twitter) Since I've been making this blog private, means this officially becomes my virtual diary, there's no need for me to be worried about people's thoughts about my writings.

Uhm ok where should I start.... It'd sound boring if I start this by stating "2021 is such a roller-coaster" - this won't indicate any differences with what I wrote in 2019 lol. Besides, life is, and will always be, a roller-coaster. 

Ever since pandemic occurs, I feel like my social and linguistic skill is lacking... Been having trouble explaining things (even in Indonesian) and sometimes need to think twice in organising the words I'm about to speak. I have trouble keeping up in such a simple convo - I'd probably ended up saying "oh.... ok". Pretty sure my introversion has nothing to do with this (seriously, people need to stop stereotyping either introverted or extroverted person). I'm not even sure whether I could make it in the upcoming IELTS test taken for my post-grad study requirements, though I've set my target to get - at the very least - an overall band score of 8 (I'm only able go by 7 until this day lmao) and I still lack of confidence when speaking in english (20% of the source of my insecurity comes from me afraid of being judged by my american-ish accent or my inability to construct the words in a good sentence). I even decided to go back to writing so I'll get used to in either writing or speaking sections. Though, the speaking session is the most enjoyable for me by far. Might go monologuing about some random stuff in the middle of the night so I can be much more fluent. 

Currently thinking about how I should've continued writing my motivation letter instead of this one... no I have a clear intention of writing this and it's to get used to write a lot of thoughts in english and to pull out toxics on my body so this is surely not a waste of time - 

Ok I just reminisced my old writings HAHAHAHHAAHH can't believe how brave and strong I was especially in 2019... such a golden year. Perhaps

I should've wrote more but I suddenly forgot my worries and insecurities that I need to emit here. shiiiiiiitttt this was supposed to be a good writing but ended up being a useless rant compilation smh

Ok let me try again. 

It also has been around 4 months since I work at an infamous brand-tech company in my country - which I still have no idea why they offered the position to me instead of others who I believe may have better drawing skills, but..... let's say maybe I DID deserve this after all of the hard work I've done back in school or college. I've admitted as an ambitious bastard lately, seeking not only money but also validation and 'name'. Yet, I sometimes doubt whether all of these hard work may have a great outcome, or I'm just doing everything wrong, I mean - 

We all know being busy does not equal to being productive.... isn't it? I'm afraid i'm just being busy, but things that I do may only give so little impact on my future... In other words, I'm not being that focused on my ultimate goals (which I also have no idea what it is. working as a creative practitioner is one of them, and I may be pursuing it by now... it makes me happy already but sometimes I feel like something's missing) I don't even see myself as forever an employee of someone's company, yet I want to give all my best in every project I'm involved. I believe there are things that I can get and learn in this company so I'll cherish every opportunities that I have by now.

Though, I have my own career and projects to take care of, and no doubt I also strive to be as big as YOU, my dear CEO of the company I work at. Not saying that I would form a company, a production house, or a studio (still considering this as I suck at business management or things related to that) but at the very least, I want to become a person that people can rely on, and have a 'name'- in terms of music composing and illustrating obviously. Been very envious of those who appear on webinars, talks, labeled as 'inspiring people'.... Don't know if this will also happen to me - I may still be a little bit selfish and unclear intention of being a speaker, thus God has not let me to do so. 

Well uhm, what should I say, keeping myself occupied is one of the ways to overcome my fear of missing out too.

I've also had trouble distinguishing 'laziness' and 'burn-out', being 'sincere' and 'insecure'. When having a deep convo with a close friend of mine, I told him that I felt like 'the laziest person in the world'. I'm never satisfied with my work rythm, productivity and efficiency as I tend to take a break too often while working. I'm not sure if everyone's doing the same shit as I am but I can feel so guilty when not working as hard as the others. I also have no idea if my works are that great, fulfilling the applied standards.

And then I realised... that I've never got, or asked for any feedback of my work output towards the others, thus making me biased over my own skills and abilities. I plan to do a 1-on-1 with my senior officer and ask for a feedback on my work that I've done for the past 4 months. Wish me a very best of luck. 

Been thinking of doubting nice words or opportunities given by people in my surroundings may result in me disrespecting those who are kind enough to respect me, so I think I need to go easier on myself...

(I wonder where this insecurity comes from - is it because I see kpop idols and already-a-privileged-high-class-people too much?) I don't consider myself as a person coming from a high-class family, yet I'm aware that we live comfortably. I'm lucky enough that my family let me pursue my own goals instead of forcing me to work as a health worker. Being murtad from a family which most of them work in healthcare field and have no record of pursuing post-grad study abroad means that I'm starting everything from the bottom... isn't it? So it should be normal that I need more time to build connections, look for post-grad study infos on my own, improve my skills.... right? It shouldn't be an apple to apple if I compare myself to Maudy Ayunda, who's got a strong educational background and environment already.... right? It shouldn't be an apple to apple if I compare myself to my friends whose family have got great post-grad study records and is common to travel overseas for either leisure or business... right?

right?

Though I believe my parents support me 100%, both emotionally and financially, there are plenty of things that I don't know and should be looking for, on my own, as both of my parents don't provide any of the infos and/or connections. They are both pharmacy graduates and have never pursued any post-grad studies. Yet, they support me and my sister to do so. Please please please let me study at Royal College of Music in the future - in 2022 or 2023, at the very least. 

I wonder if I followed my parents' step of becoming a pharmacist, would there be a different outcome? Would I be helpful for their connections and/or infos in pharmacy or healthcare world in general? I'm not sure. 

Getting back to the ultimate goals, I feel the need to write them down here. As a reminder - and to keep myself on track, that I've got shit to do and no time to compare myself among the others. 

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

• A film composer with great track record (involved in both Indonesian and international films, ads, or any other audio-visual works) and strong personal branding
• A musician with great discography (slight intention of using more Indonesian traditional instruments as a form to expand this so-called 'Indonesian-wave'...?)
• Being a master of music so I can share my knowledge to others (also to give a wider view on being a film composer) 
• in other words, becoming an entertainer. Hoping to be the star myself. 

(These ultimate goals are somewhat irrelevant to my full-time job lmao but who cares tho) let's see what I want to be as an illustrator....

• Having my own original animated/comic series (with a help from my friends obviously)
• opening an art school (non-formal) or conduct small art classs

additional small goals HAHAHAH:

• SF9 fan meet/collaboration - this is highly unlikely to happen but who knows
• being Hiroyuki Sawano's apprentice

Believe it or not this could become a guide for my motivation letter tho... or this writing itself is a motivation letter. hahahah

(I do feel that the burden on my shoulders slowly lightens after putting all of my concerns here). Now I'm ready to get the ongoing scoring project done. At last, the little thing that I need to do to get my energy back is to pull out all toxics, and rethink about my goals.

Otsukaresama. You've done well.

2019: a roller-coaster, extreme change of emotions

2019 is coming to an end!

I'm currently writing this post in the middle of our final project screening (don't worry I've done my presentation along with my friends so let's say I'm free from all the stress of presenting our video project) and I can't believe I'm getting closer to going home for such long time!

During the 5th semester, precisely the last two months of the 5th semester, was the hardest period for me to go home for just several days. A not-so-strict-schedule-but-not-friendly-for-us-to-have-few-days-to-go-home, only a few but very demanding group projects, not to forget my non-academic activities in which I couldn't mention all of them. The thing is, I've been very, crazily, busy. 

So, how should I describe my 2019? 

I won't tell what I had failed on nor what I have succeeded on--let them become my personal achievements that I may not tell publicly and I don't think no one wants to know and it's also not necessary for me to tell, UNLESS if I think that I should cherish it publicly. 

Uh, I don't know, it feels like right after I achieved my goals, failures came in just few weeks not even one or two months. It feels like those failures were there to balance my life and to remind  myself that I could still be failed event though  I had prepared very well. 

I was disappointed with many things--the dreams that I couldn't achieve this year, with my self-hatred habit, flaws, and mistakes that I barely even tried to fix it--or if I tried, the process would never be easy and it made overwhelmed with myself at the end. I was still struggling to accept myself the way I am despite the fact that I had release a song that bluntly invites the listeners to grow the love for themselves. 

I'm no longer afraid of being criticized--I've always seen it as an opportunity of self-improvement. What I'm still afraid is that critics and good will weren't good enough because I will never be the best in the house--there will always be someone--who is the best among of them. There will be a sky above the sky. And it slowly made me feel smaller, smaller, smaller, and smaller, until I started to think that I was just a spec of dust. Especially every time I saw my college mates whom I consider as the "All-stars" of our major, I've always felt that I haven't kept up with them due to how talented and creative they are. At some points it made me want to upgrade myself every single day, but on the other hand--just like what I said before--it was overwhelming, so much.

There were days that I felt that I was out of energy--that I couldn't do things that I should do as best as I could--even tho I wanted to. I once cried for 8 days straight just because I failed on one thing that I won't tell you--I even have no idea where this ambitious personality came from since none of my parents force me to achieve things in a specific time (except asking me to graduate right on time--cum laude and continue my postgraduate studies abroad) and instead they told me that there will be the right time for me and I just have to wait for it. 

And sometimes, really, sometimes, what they said was true. There were also lots of surprising things that came to me, unexpectedly. That I sometimes forgot to take them for granted. That I sometimes forgot to be thankful for them. That I know that from now on, I need to cherish every little thing that I get. 

Absolutely, 2019 is a roller-coaster for me. I lost many things, yet I also achieved many things. I learned a lot from my mistakes, and am still struggling to be a better person without drastically changing my personality. Almost two years since I attend college, two years being active in certain communities and events, and I'm still a goofy, introverted human being--although I did learn how to lead a group and to have efficient teamwork among the others that may be extremely different for me. With all of these roller-coaster experiences I hope that these could be some sort of transition for me to arrive in a better situation.

And am I ready for 2020? Oh I'm so, so, ready. 

'open minded' gone wrong

warning: this post is going to be a rant. those who claim themselves 'open minded' should've not got triggered by this and respond wisely. 

...

hm, how should I start this topic? 

how about we start from this meme:

and this:

this is what happens in this post-modern era. 

A few weeks ago I saw a tweet through my friend's IG story, (it was in Indonesian) and it was said that "you're not open minded if you agree to LGBTQ+, have been questioning god, yet you still insult those who still choose to be conservative". and I couldn't fucking agree more to that!

I think the definition of 'open-minded' itself has been narrowed to something specific only. You are only considered as 'open-minded' if you agree and support post-modern ideologies, or if you agree with what other people believe in, which I actually have no idea whether those ideologies are actually good for the human race or is it only for the sake of pop culture. 

I even kind of dislike those who call themselves 'open-minded' and tell people to do so. It sounds a bit cocky, to be honest... and too subjective. Imagine someone telling you to be open minded just because you disagree with his/her ideology after you listen to their explanation. (indonesian mode) "Open minded dong jadi orang...!" Sounds rude, doesn't it?

The thing is, the main point of open minded does not mean agreeing or disagreeing certain ideologies. Agreeing or disagreeing depends on what we believe is true, and surely every individual has their own definition of what's right and what's wrong - what should be agreed and what should not. The actual point of open minded is that you have a willing to know something new or different from your perspective, despite being agree to it or not. 

To be honest, to know something different from my perspective is still a hard thing to do for me. Not that I'm being sceptical, it's because I'm just really afraid of slowly losing the faith that I've been holding on. The easiest example: afraid of losing the faith of God and religion after seeking deeper about the true existence of God. I'm not saying that I'm a religious person - cuz I'm actually not - but I, to be honest, sense through heart His existence and influence in me. Like many people say, that kind of sense cannot be measured since it's a matter of belief. 

But these days, I'm trying to seek deeper about two hot topics related to 'open-minded' things: LGBTQ+ and religion. These have been such a sensitive yet interesting topic but I actually have not discussed this yet even with my close friends cuz I know how sensitive these  topics are. And no, searching for some topics does not mean I'm going to leave what I believe by now instantly. That's not how it works. 

I've been searching for topics and discussions like :

• the reasons why people do not believe in God, 
• scientific research on LGBTQ+
• Nietzsche's "God is dead"
• LGBTQ+ as a culture or is it actually real (like do a person really believe that he (for example) is somewhat a girl trapped in boy's body, vice versa)

But I'm not going to discuss it by now since it's midnight already and I really need to sleep. 

the main point of this post that I want to tell y'all, is that insulting those who don't think the same thing to you does not make you an open minded. And i think it is better for you to do some deeper research before deciding whether you believe/support it or not. As sometimes, people start to support some ideologies (being gay/trans, leaving religion/becoming atheist) because of the influence of their surroundings.

and no, supporting/agreeing ideologies because majority of people do so, does not instantly make you an open-minded. To know whether it's worth for you to support/agree or not, like what I said, do some research.

Hope you are having a good day. :)

akan ada saatnya

[this is written while i'm trying my best to finish my final assignment but i guess being a god-tier procrastinator means i'll have this done by the d-day]

Akan ada saatnya di mana ponsel tidak lagi bisa menghibur di kala bosan. 

Biasanya browsing buat fangirling, panen meme, shitposting enggak jelas di twitter. Tapi, malam ini aku ngerasa hiburan-hiburan itu sudah cukup buat aku bosan. 

Akan ada saatnya, di mana, akhirnya aku kembali mencari hiburan lewat buku. 

I remembered the time when I was able to finish around 20 books in a year, dan sekarang kelarin satu buku dalam waktu 3 bulan aja udah berasa berat. Idk if I should be ashamed of myself, but I miss those times when I was highly productive on reading books. Enggak peduli itu buku bahasa inggris, teenlit, buku fiksi receh. Pokoknya pada tahun itu, aku dengan bangga bisa menyelesaikan 20 buku dalam satu tahun. 

Di buku Questioning Everything! yang berisi kompilasi wawancara para seniman Indonesia, salah satu seniman bilang (even I forgot who he was, wtf) bahwa buku enggak akan pernah mati, karena di situlah gudang semuanya. Pada akhirnya, orang akan kembali ke buku. 

oh how I miss being authentic...

Akan ada saatnya di mana menulis di media sosial menjadi sesuatu yang membosankan.

Aku biasa posting cerita-cerita unik, serem, atau lucu di beberapa medsos-ku. Bukan buat nyari perhatian (well, mungkin sedikit ada niatan untuk cari perhatian--I mean, at least ada yang mau ngomentarin ceritaku), tapi aku memang pada dasarnya suka bercerita. Tapi malam ini, aku terdorong untuk cari media lain di mana aku bisa bercerita sesuka hati, sepanjang apapun, se-frontal apapun, tanpa khawatir ada yang men-judge, setidaknya enggak langsung. 

then I remembered that I used to blog almost everyday during school times.

Akan ada saatnya, di mana, aku kembali bercerita lewat blog.

Selain karena sudah mulai sepi pengunjung, aku merasa jauh lebih bebas menulis di sini dan jauh lebih bisa menulis hal-hal yang lebih serius--hasil kontemplasiku tiap hari, bukan cuma semacam shitposting singkat, haha-hihi sama keindahan internet. Sebenarntya ini suatu keanehan ketika aku bilang menjadi kritis dan 'bacot' soal hal-hal sosial atau sesuatu yang sifatnya filosofis itu adalah guilty pleasure aku. Aku memang bukan orang yang suka nge-judge, tipikal ngikutin lambe turah dan tiba-tiba nyinyirin orang yang enggak sesuai pandangan/ideologiku, tapi pasti akan ada terbesit pikiran judgemental yang lebih rasional dan enggak kurang ajar, yang sebetulnya aku lebih suka tuangkan di sini. 

Dan jujur, aku sangat sangat sangat kangen ketika blogging itu rame banget, sampai aku ikut komunitasnya. Rame promosiin postingan masing-masing, baca terus kasih komentar yang apresiatif banget. It's so nostalgic and is it weird if I wish it happened again? 

end of my midnight contemplation. I shall be back to my assignment. *sigh*

knowing the lazy geniuses

Hello internet, how's life? 

Enough of the crap, I've been really, really busy with college and work and committees. Writing has not been my priority lately due to my activities (damn I miss those times when I regularly blogged and remembered how exciting Femind Bloggers were), buuuut now it's summer and I get the chance to write something that I have been wanting to write about. I found this actually quite unique to be discussed and no, it won't be as complicated as politics or sexual issues (I might write about them but later) cuz this may be experienced or seen by y'all in daily activities. 

The lazy geniuses. 

Do you have that friend who's known as the sleepyhead during the class, or a gamer-addict, or those who claim themselves not studying the night before the exam but ended up achieving excellent grades even better than yours? Pretty sure this happens quite few times, doesn't it? 

This is what they can be defined as lazy geniuses. But actually, what is the accurate definition of 'lazy genius' itself? 

According to Urban Dictionary, lazy genius is defined as a person who has huge IQ but does not put a lot of effort in anything he/she does. This may seem pretty common and understandable--knowing that they have specialty that make them easier to understand/memorize things actually make them feel like they don't have to work harder bc of their intelligence. 

(which I kind of agree, but also disagree with this action. First of all, I know it is such a blessing to have huge IQ and great intelligence that would possibly make you as genius as Prof. B.J. Habibie and surely it makes you easier to understand things so you don't have to work extra, unlike those who only have average IQ. Yet, this condition can be considered as 'blessing in disguise', as a lot of people might work harder than you until they possibly become much more successful/superior/smarter than you. So yea there's no exception that if you want to be smart/successful then you hv to work your ass harder)

On the other hand, there's a podcast named The Lazy Genius Collective which they stated on their website that they're going to help us to be 'a genius about the things that matter, but lazy about the things that don't', According to what they stated, I assumed that they define 'lazy genius' differently from what Urban Dictionary defined before; the lazy genius is someone who can be smart and passionate with certain things but undoubtedly be lazy with things that they think is unnecessary. 

But no, I'm not going to state which one is the right definition and which one is wrong. Both definitions are actually acceptable. What I'm going to tell you in this post is, the unique stories of those who I assumed as 'lazy geniuses' and my thoughts and own definitions about lazy geniuses. 

And you should be actually really careful with lazy geniuses. Since, as what I experienced, the lazy geniuses are not actually lazy and are not always those who have huge IQ. Notice that this topic will be possibly dominant to the definition stated by The Lazy Genius Collective.

As what they stated, they know when to be diligent/passionate/work hard, but also know when to be lazy/just do okay with the work/not using their 100% power for the work. This type of lazy genius is actually much 'scarier' than the huge-IQ's lazy genius. Despite the fact that they have the lazy traits, they still manage themselves to be diligent, especially in things that they are passionate. And the best part is, they can be diligent without even seem like they are. 

So this is why I never underestimate those who look lazy/unmotivated in living their lives, because none of us know what they are actually doing. It may be just their default looks or their traits (getting up late, not being punctual, being asleep during the class, being absent for several times without any confirmation, likes to hangout until midnight) that make them look like the lazy ones, but deep inside no one knows if they are actually highly motivated or really passionate about some things or have high standards on making/doing things. I'm confident to say this as I know some people who I think can be considered as this type of lazy geniuses. 

I'm going to use my classmates in my college as an example. Comparing to the next class (which is class A; I'm part of class B), my class are more likely less diligent in terms of being present in the lecture than class A. I mean, look--there could be only less than a half of all number of students of class B who were present in a lecture. Not to mention those who ccame late quite often, got to sleep, and those who didn't really listen to the lecturer during the lecture. BUT, I was pretty surprised that they could be somewhat very creative and responsible when it comes to certain assignments. I know those who I can consider having such a huge effort for their assignments (especially assignments related to video producing/filmmaking) but their performances during the lecture were just okay (not really active, not really enthusiastic, etc etc etc) and it's actually very possible that they received perfect A in certain lectures. 

To be honest, this type of person gets so much attention to me, like how their traits can be contradicted to their work ethics--how their 'lazy' attitudes can trick us to see that they don't put much effort to their lives, but deep down they would probably be the ones who put much more effort than us without us knowing. 

menjadi yang paling kecil di dunia perkuliahan.

Hello human beings,

Udah lama banget ya aku enggak nulis blog lagi? 

Well it's actually okay as no one even visits here anymore haha (trust me this is not a sarcasm)

Jadi selama berbulan-bulan lamanya aku menghabiskan that so-called summer vacation setelah dapat perguruan tinggi, aku belum ada ide buat nulis sesuatu yang baru di blog. Yet I'm writing a novel by now berharap suatu saat bakal selesai, tapi enggak akan ku publikasikan ke blog ini. Mungkin bakal di wattpad. Atau mungkin bakal disimpan aja dan nunggu waktu yang tepat untuk mempublikasikannya. Entahlah. 

Dan sebetulnya, di draft blog aku, aku udah nulis panjaaaaaaang banget dan bisa sampai 10 halaman lebih kalau dipindah ke word tentang perjuanganku dapat PTN, tapi setelah berpikir panjang dan dibaca ulang kayaknya bakal lebih baik kusimpan secara personal aja ceritanya, karena kalau dibaca kesannya bisa jadi lebay dan inti dari ceritaku itu juga enggak jauh-jauh amat dari cerita kebanyakan orang. Gagal snm dulu, berjuang mati-matian buat lolos lewat sbm, belajar dan ngambis tiap hari , nangis-nangis sampai kurang tidur dan akhirnya keterima juga. Sama aja kan, sama yang lain, atau cerita-cerita lainnya yang pernah kalian baca di media sosial? so I don't think my story would inspire a lot buat kamu yang bakal berjuang untuk tahun depan. Mau se-terinspirasinya kamu sama cerita seseorang kalau kamunya enggak mau berjuang ya sama aja bohong nanti. 

Anyways, tahun lalu aku dapat message lewat Instagram dari salah satu teman dekat aku yang sekarang adalah mahasiswa di Universitas Indonesia. Dia cerita sama aku bahwa dia sekarang sedang merasa inferior karena di kelasnya banyak yang ternyata lebih dari dia. Yang ngambis. Yang aktif di kelas. Yang aku pribadi kusebut Anak Masa Depan Cerah (btw istilah itu baru kepikiran saat aku nulis posting ini juga). Di kelasnya kerasa banget atmosfir kompetitifnya.

Memang pasti perasaan seperti kusebutkan di atas enggak jarang muncul di dalam diri maba. Enggak cuma teman dekatku ini yang bilang demikian, banyak teman se-prodi-ku yang cerita tentantg inti masalah yang sama. Teman-teman SMA-ku demikian. Even aku sendiri sedang merasakan hal yang sama. Merasa semua orang pintar and we're nothing. Padahal dulu waktu SMA bisa jadi beberapa di antara kita selalu jadi andalan guru dan kelas, dipandang sebagai orang yang pintar, tapi pas begitu masuk dunia perkuliahan kita justru merasa that we're just a tiny little human being within the others. 

Oh iya, dan di Unpad ada yang namanya matkul TPB (Tahap Pembelajaran Bersama), matkul yang isinya tentang Sustainable Development Goals - program dari PBB untuk memperbaiki dunia. Dari namanya aja udah keren banget, kan? Dan menurutku pribadi topik-topik yang ditawarkan juga sebetulnya menarik (sebetulnya - tapi implementasiannya masih kurang banget. Highly ineffective). Mengajak mahasiswanya untuk turut mewujudkan apa yang dicita-citakan PBB ini - yang mana ada sekitar 17, diataranya menjadikan dunia tanpa kemiskinan dan kelaparan, mempunyai pendidikan berkualitas, adanya kesetaraan gender, dan lain sebagainya. Dan yang enggak kalah 'seru' lagi, di matkul ini dibuat kelas besar yang isinya sekitar ratusan mahasiswa dari 16 fakultas yang ada di Unpad. Kebayang gimana tuh kuliahnya? 

Dan harus kuakui, ikut menjalani kuliah bersama ratusan mahasiswa dalam satu ruangan besar enggak menutup kemungkinan untuk membuatku lebih ciut lagi. Mereka yang aktif ikut diskusi tentang topik yang lagi dibahas dan cara mereka menyampaikan analisanya sudah cukup buat aku semakin minder, apalagi aku yang tipikalnya bukan orang yang suka ngomong di depan umum kecuali kalau disuruh nyanyi. Kalau disuruh menganalisa atau me-review sesuatu aku harus tulis dulu di kertas poin-poinnya, baru bisa menyampaikan. For me being spontaneous is still something hard to do. Untung-untung ada matkul public speaking di prodi aku, dan aku akan memanfaatkan matkul itu dengan sebaik-baiknya supaya aku mampu public speaking. At least bisa mengurangi rasa gugup aku buat ngomong di depan umum. 

Lah, terus masalahnya apa?

Yang mau kubicarakan disini adalah mengenai perasaan aku dan teman-temanku, sebagai mahasiswa baru, ketika merasa bahwa dirinya bukan siapa-siapa karena banyak yang lebih pintar dan kemampuan analisanya bagus ketika ditanya. 

I'll say it's fine. it's really fucking fine. 

Kamu belum satu semester jadi mahasiswa langsung ngambis banget untuk bisa seperti kating-kating kamu yang kemampuan akademik-non-akademiknya bagus? Atau teman-teman seangkatan kamu yang disangka lebih pintar dari kamu? 

Ketika kegiatan belajar berlangsung, dan kamu lihat ada teman kamu yang aktif di kelas dan membuat kamu berspekulasi bahwa dia pintar dari cara dia menyampaikan sesuatu. I say it's not a hundred percent true. Dia memang mungkin punya kecerdasan linguistik. And it shouldn't have made you thought that you are less smart than them. Kita enggak bisa menilai kepintaran dan kecerdasan orang dalam satu aspek saja. Pada dasarnya, semua orang itu cerdas. Hanya saja, kadarnya berbeda dan tipe kecerdasannya berbeda untuk setiap orangnya. Tahu 9 kecerdasan, kan? Seseorang itu bisa jadi kemampuan berbicaranya bagus, tapi kalau diuji kecerdasannya di bidang lain, belum tentu kadarnya sama dengan kemampuan bicaranya yang bisa kita kategorikan sebagai kecerdasan linguistik. Jangan menjadikan akademik sebagai tolak ukur kecerdasan seseorang.

Begitu masuk kuliah, aku ketemu banyaaaaak banget orang-orang hebat, tapi dengan catatan; orang-orang yang hebat non-akademis-nya, menurut pandanganku. Mungkin karena aku masuknya ke fakultas yang sifatnya enggak begitu cognitive-oriented kali ya. Maksudku adalah, berdasarkan yang aku amati selama satu semester, mahasiswa-mahasiswa di fakultasku lebih menonjol karena keterampilannya tinggi. Di Fikom banyak yang jago di bidang musik. Ada yang punya band yang udah sering tampil sana-sini, ada yang duo - satu nge-DJ satu lagi nge-rap, udah pada punya lagu ciptaan sendiri. Yang jago desain banyak. 

Enggak apa-apa. Simpan ambisi kamu dalam hati. Pelan-pelan kamu coba buktikan kalau kamu bisa lebih dari mereka. Public speaking mereka bagus, mungkin karena dulu mereka pernah ikut semacam organisasi, atau memang dari dulu sudah terlatih demikian. Kalau enggak punya pengalaman yang kusebutkan di atas, bukan berarti kita enggak bisa public speaking kan?

Setelah sekian lamanya aku berada di Jatinangor, dan menjadi mahasiswa Fakultas Ilmu Komunikasi, dan karena faktor lingkungan, lambat laun aku jadi ikut terlatih untuk bisa ber-public speaking. Hasilnya apa? Bisa! Asalkan kita ada kemauan, pasti bisa kok.

review: fabricated city

Hi and welcome back!

Fyi I just finished the national-based school exam (which I think was sort of.... meh) and I'll be free for two weeks until the national exam comes. But anyways, I'm going to do another review, which is a movie review!

(well I won't be really free, though I still have to study for four subjects left and study for SBMPTN - in case worse thing happens... I hope not)

In order to cool down myself this evening, I decided to watch one of the movies that I had been dying to watch ever since. It is Fabricated City, one of the new Korean movies that came out this month, appoximately in the first week of March. I first discovered this movie after I found out more about Ji Chang Wook (for you who are into K-Wave, I'm pretty sure you know him as he's quite famous, if I'm not mistaken). I also first knew him from a Korean drama titled The K2, and I was amazed by his acting since then.

(and I had never thought that I would be interested in korean movie industry, or the drama series.)

Here you are brought to the story of Kwon Yu (Ji Chang Wook), an unemployment who spends his time playing action video games, along with other online players. On a night, he received a call from a phone whom the owner is unknown. The caller tells him to return her phone to the motel she stays. He goes to the motel, returns it to the owner, and received the reward for returning the phone. 

Then in the next morning, when he is asleep in his house, the cops break in and arrest him for committing sexual abuse and murder to the girl who asks him to return her phone in the motel. All evidences prove that he is the one who does it, and he's not able to defend himself because of it. Someone put a knife with blood on it and the investigators claim that the fingerprints on the evidences belongs to him. He actually does not do it - he is framed for doing such crime. 

He does not accept the fact that he has just done a sexual abuse and murdered the victim. However, he is sent to the prison and often get beaten by other prisoners, for not obeying the seniors in the prison. Being willing to prove that he is innocent, he tries to escape from the prison by hurting himself so he can be carried out of the prison to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, he successfully escapes and tries not to be recognized by the citizen. On his run, he tries to find out who frames him for committing crimes, with help from four gamers and hackers, and start to team up with them to discover it. 

I've got to say, I was very mesmerized with the plot. I think that makes this film really great. How could the author think of this kind of story? Five gamers trying to solve a crime to prove that Kwon Yu is innocent, just as how they play an action video game together - they first make plans and strategies. I thought 'oh so this is how gamers solve the crime. Quite mesmerizing tho'. The author also didn't make the storyline hard to be digested by our brain. However, it is also not light, since it has quite complex stories and confilcts. I'm 100% sure that I won't complain about the plot, because it's just really good and I enjoyed it very much as I love action, thriller and crime movies or books. 

(you'll get surprised when you know who's the one who frame him. yet i've guessed in the first 30 minutes and I was right. it should've been more shocking for the plot twist I guess)

And for the acting quality, I think Ji Chang Wook should be given two thumbs up. He brought more emotions in this movie. Not too far form The K2 where he successfully brought the same emotions. The author also successfully made Kwon Yu character really strong. But I just realized that he barely smiles in the entire movie (I even remember that he never laughs!) so it seems like it's a very serious movie. I wasn't surpised that he starred this kind of film, as he seems like he is the pro of action or crime dramas (see also Healer). My complain is to the other characters - the gamers, and other supporting characters. I'm pretty much sure that the actors and actresses have done the very good job to make this film. I think that the personalities in each character should've been more variative - except the villain and the girl who is one of the four gamers who helps Kwon Yu solve the case. The other three gamers, for example - I see that they're just the three same people who are funny and there are no more specific characters in each of them. But after all they're just really good when teaming up. The girl, one of the gamers, seems really cold and quiet, uses the same flat expression in the entire movie - except when she screams tho. One thing that makes her really cool in the team is she is the one who mostly takes charge of (you may call it) programming. 

And the villain - well the actor has successfully brought the acting as the crazy, psychotic human being. I won't tell any futher about the villain because (ehm) spoilers, ehehe. 

One thing that I've been asking, what is the villain's purpose of framing Kwon Yu? It's not explained and I don't know if the plot is done like that on purpose or not. I think it should've been explained.....

Overall, I can say that Fabricated City is very good for its plot and how it presents the action elements really well. I'm pretty sure that boys would probably enjoy watching this too. A notice for you out there, especially girls, who seeks for emotional, dramatic and romantic movies, this is not for you. I see no romance elements and I also think it doesn't need to be added to the film. For you who is also the lovers of actoin films, Fabricated City should be put in your bucket list. 

what is it like to be in the senior year

Well hello there.

Here I am, writitng this post at 23.51 PM, currently finished making a PowerPoint presentation as I'm going to present - on my own - in front of my sociology teacher, about the local wisdom of a community or tribe. I meant to research so I could present more than what I serve inside the slides, but it's midnight already and I just don't have any oomph to do it. And there are more school assignments that I should finish before the 5th semester end - which often makes me feel stressed and anxious and it feels like I just want to skip school and go somewhere far away. 

Do you know how it feels like when you're fully aware with your grades yet you are too lazy to study or do your assignments? Yes, that's what I feel these days. I did remember the time when I was in eleventh grade, I was super ambitious and way too eager to get good scores (I used to put A or 100 for the target of the score of each exam - well, still ocassionally do it by now) and I just realize that I had been really annoying back then. A good friend of mine said that I pushed myself too far, way too obsessed with grades and was a victim of Kurikulum 2013 which (my friends thought) makes the students even busier with these endless assignments. Despite the ambitious-thingy, I still think (by now) that I had my best moments when I was in eleventh grade.

I realize how much I hate senior year. Well some of you might think that being a senior is awesome - you're the one who rule the school and you can make fun of the freshmen and juniors whatever you want. 

Well no. It's not awesome. It's terrible. 

I've got lots of pressure since I started my senior year. I need to keep my grades stable so I can be accepted in my dream uni without joining the test (SBMPTN) as I think that the SBMPTN questions are difficult AF. In other side that I have to keep practicing my drawing skill as I want to take faculty of arts and design so bad - yet I don't have time to do that at home. After school I still need to study for tomorrow's exam, or do other assignments, or design something according to the clients' requests (yea I'm a freelancer now). I feel like 24 hours is not enough to finish all tasks so I can just breathe and live a life peacefully without anything to do. 

Not in spite of the fact that I am terrible in time managing. I used to do anything spontaniously because I feel that my brain just works and is full of ideas during hours before the deadline. That's why I always sleep very late. I feel that my brain is highly productive during the night and 'fall asleep' during the day. I know it's not good tbh. My mom and my teacher told me that it wasn't a good lifestyle, since God has given the day to do our activites and night to take a rest. For me, it's upside down. Well, I tried to fix this bad habit. I tried. But somehow it's hard, like really hard. 

Maybe some of you will think you're not that stressed when being a senior year and thnk I exaggerate to much about that. Maybe you'll think I take everything seriously. And I confess that I do take everything seriously, too seriously, in fact. I worry too much about something, sometimes think that my life will end when I can't get the score that I want. I'm some sort of afraid that I might have mental illness which has been haunting me since eleventh grade. 

But these days, I convince myself that my life won't end just because I fail on a test (even I still can be so emotional because of that sometimes). I convince myself that I can be successful in my own way. Grades are just small parts that'll will bring a little effect on our success. I learnt that what makes us successful is how we control our emotion when facing various kinds of events or problems. 

When you fall and it feels hurtful, cry. Cry until you feel better. We're human anyway. We don't have to pretend that everything is okay even everything is absolutely not okay. But friend, don't forget to get up. Time flies so fast and there are lots of positive things that we can do. 

It's 0.42 AM already here in Depok. I write this because I've got mental breakdown these days and I need a place to release all my stress. I hope you'll get something postive with this post. :)

(tbh i feel so relieved after writing this post)

my first infographic(s) + study tour trailer

So on March two friends of mine asked me if I could help them making infographics for the competition that they joined. These are the results. 

Hello readers!

Oh yes where have I been? I almost abandoned this blog ha-ha.

So it has been months (again and again) since I posted my last post about my vacation to blue lake. I actually just had a very amazing study tour on March and I can't wait to show you guys the photos! But before I post them, I'll show you the trailer of our study tour documentary serial (yes I made it with my best friend as a documentary serial with five episodes. Now there are three episodes on my YouTube channel and I really hope you guys enjoy watching it as much as I enjoy making it!

 

the trailer

 

day one and two - departure

blue lake

Wew have I been MIA for more than a half year?

So I've got to tell you what happened in past half year, where I didn't even check out my own blog (though I guess I was "enjoying" my time as an eleventh grader which has much more school work and stuff). 

In fact, nothing special happened. 

Unless on Teacher's Day in November 25th where all of the students (as usual) in my school gave a big surprise for all teachers. Then we sang Hymne Guru and little bit speech and so on. Quite fun, actually, and I keep the photos and videos that I think I'll start editing it so I can upload it on Youtube. If it is possible. (school work, duh)

And I realize that I start focusing myself on academic much more intensively. Though my grades are improved, but you can't imagine how stressed I was in the first semester to get a good score. But, with that kind of stress I think I have improved my own skills on something that I didn't really master. 

Just say that I wasn't a really good presenter in the class. I think it's because I was hoping a good score so I tried myself to be a good presenter. It worked tho. :) and after that I don't present by reading all the materials in my power point. Even sometimes I still feel nervous before getting in front of the class. But believe me, I'm eager to try again and again. 

Like my last task in LIA before I pass High Intermediate - 4. We're expected to make an essay about anything we like and we'll present it in front of our classmates and some of HI - 4 teachers. And some of the audiences will ask some questions about our essay and so on. So it'll be like a small council. The first time I practiced in front of the class was kind of a nightmare for me, though I hadn't presented something in full English about something that I master and I should improve my presentation in case I forget. My teacher taught me that I was like speaking on my own since I talked too fast and in low voice. 

(I actually had presented in full English before in LIA. But I just memorize what I wrote without knowing or mastering any of my writing in English Class at school and my teacher mostly pays attention with our grammar beside the topic of our essay, and I know that I still have a really bad grammar)

And you know I have more essays to do at school; like making a review of a movie that I've watched. Review a movie means review everything I watched; the plot, the acting, the composition, plus-minus, the production, and the differences when compared to other movies that are almost the same. I reviwed Big Eyes because I just watched it a couple weeks ago on TV and I compared it with The Danish Girl. It took three pages for the review and I didn't believe it at first; I'm afraid it's way too long and I'm afraid for the bad grammar. 

 (Reviewing a movie is an Indonesian task btw, and I've got to say that I'm worse in Indonesian than English and I think that Indonesian grammar is way harder than English. I don't know about the others. Technically it's hard for me to get above 90 in Indonesian)

Well I guess I'm done with telling about my school task and activities. Most of my activities in the first semester were so-so; nothing special but nothing bad too. I'm eager to tell about my holiday in July! 

(wew, it's half a year ago)

So my family went overseas to Banjarmasin, three days after Idul Fitri, a week before school started. And how I really missed staying at my grandma's, having a sleepover with my cousins, playing games with my bros, and of course - exploring Banjarmasin! 

On the third day in Banjarmasin, we set up a plan for visiting one of Banjarmasin's tourists destinations: Danau Biru, Pengaron, Banjarmasin. 

the lake was actually place for digging coal, so I'm pretty sure that the lake contains kind of chemicals and minerals. But it makes the lake beautiful. TIP: if would be better if you go there with jeep or kind of manual cars 

 

 

 

 

 

 

well I'm hoping that we can have other trip on the next holiday. :)

talking about future... + compilation of my artworks on 2014-2015

Since I'm a high school student and I'm sure you know that I'm going to be a colleague in two years later. True it's a part of future. Who will I be in the future? Where will my career go? What should I prepare for the future?

These days my friends and I talk a lot about the future and faculties that they're going to take. Since I attend social studies class, then the faculties they want must be related to social studies, such as law, economics, business, psychology, social and politics, public relations, even some want to be teachers. Then, how about me?

Like, seriously, I have to admit that I'm curious and interested to get in to the faculties. But, first thing first. Think about what you want to be, not what you like. You like music (yep most people looooove music, I bet you do), but you've got no plan to be a musician. You put the music as your entertainer only. I'm pretty sure that you've got some friends that play music. Do they all want to be musicians? No. Maybe, some of them do. Some make music as their career, but some of them only make music as a medicine of stress.

I'm curious with psychology (I really do) and I think it's fun to know and understand people by reading their faces or other ways to read, but going back to the plan that I have no interest to be a psychologist. I just want to have the knowledge, and there's nothing wrong with that. (remember, Allah likes knowledgeable people)

Talking about future, means we're talking about what we prepare for the future. Hey, the world is waiting for your action outside. You can't just wait until the white horses come and pick you up to the olympus. All you have to do is taking steps on the stairs and face the challenges you meet.

And after I had done some discussions along with my parents and cousins, I've decided to take faculty of arts and design, and I'll take Visual Communication Design major--which I'm going to make advertising, films, do some graphic designs, and everything digital (um, not always, actually. Right now I prefer making posters for advertising or making a yearbook manually than making digitally; because (1) I'm able to express my art widely, (2) it's way easier for me to create gradient colors manually (like using paint or color pencil, duh), and (3) I'm not a real pro when it comes to digital, but I can, basically.

And these days I've got an interest of making videos, either vlogging or making short movies. I've made a short horror movie (which I think it's insanely simple because we only used few dialogues) for the annual Indonesian Short Film Festival held by SCTV (to watch click here). Don't forget to like!! *chuckles

Aaaand, here I show you my artworks that I've done in a year since I attended high school!

   

left: Radiance--breakfasting event held by my junior high schoolmates (manual), and VOS--Voice of Smada, the annual talent show in vocal and music held by Smada Intra-School Student Organization.

more from my instagram:

king joffrey #artworkoftheday

A photo posted by Farah Firdausy (@farahfirdausy) on Jun 30, 2015 at 7:02am PDT

Manners. Maketh. Man.🇬🇧 #kingsman #artwork

A photo posted by Farah Firdausy (@farahfirdausy) on Mar 24, 2015 at 8:33pm PDT 

#topeng29 akhirnya selesai juga.😀

A photo posted by Farah Firdausy (@farahfirdausy) on Dec 2, 2014 at 6:56am PST

Late artwork🎶

A photo posted by Farah Firdausy (@farahfirdausy) on Sep 16, 2014 at 2:55am PDT 

Well if you've got questions about my artworks kindly ask me on twitter or instagram! (I actually have an ask.fm account but only few of my friends know haha) 

trilogiis29 goes to jogja

Hello people! So it has been June, I've done my exams, and I'm going to take my report book on Saturday, aaaaand welcome Summer--Er, I mean, welcome Ramadhan. :)

So this year my school decided to have a study tour to Jogja and Solo. It was held to develop our knowledge, especially in Indonesian History, Geography, Sociology, Economics and also Chemisrty (for the science class) subjects. And where did we visit for the past five days? 

Several days before the study tour, I had decided that I'd make a new project after Aixtion Goes to Puncak movie documentary (I've finished creating the movie and I need to ask my 9th grade classmates a permission If I could upload the vids). So I asked my dad if I could bring my camera, and then he said yes, and I was too excited when I heard that (I really was), then, it was the day.

DAY ONE
On the first day (March 10th) we left our hometown at six, and since that morning I was ready for recording something funny that happened in the bus, It took almost a day to our hotel and what I did was just listening to my iPod.

the view when we were on the way to jogja

DAY TWO

We visited Sangiran Museum--it's a place where hominids were mostly found. You will find the fossils and everything related to the pre-history. 

DAY THREE 

Went shopping at Malioboro and visited Ratu Boko Temple (which needed much energy to get there bc it is located in the highland). In the afternoon we headed to Pentingsari Village, where we had home stay 

view from Ratu Boko Temple

DAY FOUR

Our last day in Pentingsari Village! We took a walk in the morning and we had got great views there, including Mt. Merapi. Then, we had shopping at bakpia store (which I forget the name) and went to Soeharto Museum before we went home.

Soeharto Museum

you can also see the trailer of our journey in jogja.

good night and have a nice holiday! :)

panorama - happy new year 2015!

Good afternoon folks!

Well it's exciting though dapet materi baru di semester 2. Tapi enggak cuma itu yang bikin aku excited tahun ini, karena aku bakal lebih sibuk ngerjain sesuatu yang aku suka. Nge-band, participated in choir group, bikin lagu baru, tulis novel (on the way!), bikin short movie kalau bisa, bikin desain (anything, could be clothes or drawings or any concepts) and soon i'm planning to create a new project with my mom. 

Oh iya, dan happy new year 2015! I think it's late already... karena sepertinya udah lama aku enggak update blog lagi. So when the 2nd semester started, kita udah dibanjirin banyak banget tugas. Emang awalnya agak sedikit ngeselin karena setiap pertemuan selalu ada PR, ternyata efeknya baru kurasain Februari ini. Karena guru-guru ngejar materi pas Januarinya, akhirnya bulan ini aku lebih banyak santai. Dan sebentar lagi mid semester exam, so I guess I need to prepare myself.

Anyways, hari ini aku mau bahas tentang serial thriller favoritku. Beside The Hardy Boys, aku suka banget sama serial yang satu ini.

The name of the serial is Johan Series, yang menceritakan tentang kejadian-kejadian seram yang menimpa empat remaja SMU Persada Internasional (Jenny, Hanny, Tony dan Markus). 

Started from Obsesi, awalnya Jenny dan Hanny adalah kedua sahabat yang rukun, yang kemudian semuanya jadi berubah ketika ada seorang murid di sekolah itu yang naksir berat sama Hanny. Sampai-sampai Hanny is one and only for him dan akhirnya bikin si cowok yang naksir itu jadi psycho. Enggak cuma itu, Jenny, Hanny diikuti Tony dan Markus akhirnya menyelidiki latar belakang si cowok ini. And some kind of thrilling experience happens at school seperti ada yang terluka di lab kimia dan ada yang kecelakaan. 

Kemudian berlanjut ke pengalaman Hanny di Pengurus MOS Harus Mati, yang enggak melibatkan Jenny, Tony atau Markus. Jenny sedang liburan ke luar negeri, sementara Tony dan Markus sedang berlibur di kamp judo di Pontianak, sementara Hanny dipanggil ke sekolah untuk mengurusi MOS pada tahun itu. Kemudian, pengurus-pengurus MOS tersebut mengarang enam cerita horor sekolah mereka dengan tujuan untuk menakuti adik kelas mereka. But who knows when the horror stories comes to life? Satu persatu pengurus MOS jadi korban dari cerita horor dari yang mereka buat sendiri. 

Buku ketiga adalah pengalaman Tony dan Markus di Permainan Maut. Buku ini menceritakan berlatar di Pontianak, alias waktu mereka ikut kamp judo. Seorang teman lama Tony memanggil mereka berdua karena ada sesuatu di rumahnya di Pontianak. Akhirnya, Tony dan Markus pergi ke Pontianak dan menginap di rumah teman lama Tony bersama anggota judo lainnya. As usual, anggota-anggota klub judo lainnya juga menjadi korban atas suatu kejadian yang terjadi di rumah yang penuh misteri itu. 

The last story, Teror. I won't give any spoiler about this novel, tapi Teror ini seperti menyimpulkan buku pertama sampai ketiga. 

I've read this series since 2011, waktu awalnya aku tertarik sama serial TeenLit, dan aku memang lagi nyari novel yang bukan romance (tbh dulu aku enggak suka novel romance) dan akhirnya ketemulah novel Obsesi ini. Kubaca dan ternyata novelnya seru banget! 

At first I didn't know that there was the second book, setelah muncul buku Pengurus MOS Harus Mati. Awalnya aku enggak begitu niat beli buku keduanya karena (kalau enggak salah) aku tertarik sama buku lain. Tapi lama-lama aku mulai tertarik juga, and I'm totally in love with the second book! Menurut aku, Pengurus MOS Harus Mati adalah buku paling seru di antara semua buku di Johan Series ini, karena benar-benar unpredictable dan thrilling banget. 

I've recommended this series with my fellow friends dan kebanyakan dari mereka bilang novelnya seru banget. 

I think what makes the book so exciting and thrilling karena buku ini main otak. Jadi, kita ikut menebak-tebak siapa pelakunya, dan pelakunya benar-benar unpredictable. and thrilling enough. Meski buku ketiga bukan favoritku, buku itu berhasil bikin aku enggak bisa tidur (am I the one who is too overacting or what?).

Well, I think that's enough for today. Have a nice day folks!:)

so the 2nd semester and 2015 is about to start.....

Hey fellas! It's great I get a time to update my blog. And how's your day? Have you prepared yourself for 2015? Siapa tau ada yang punya resolusi untuk tahun yang akan datang. :)

So the 2nd semester is about to start, and many things happened in this semester. 

Pertama, pensi alias acara tahunan sekolahku. It was totally terrific and hacep (wkwk). Kita ngundang Changcuters dan DJ Flash Escape, dan itu seru banget. Dari jam 7 pagi aku udah di sekolah dan pulang jam 9. Aku enggak cuma dateng dan nonton pensi sekolahku. Aku tampil dua kali intern dan ekstern. Internnya aku nge-band bareng temen kelasku. Why we could perform on the stage on that day, it's a long story which happened accidentally (I mean we didn't mean to create a band but some reasons made us created a band accidentally). Dan eksternnya aku tampil bareng choir group yang aku ikutin.

Kedua, choir sekolahku ikut Gunadarma 4th Choir Festival, competing with 14 schools from several provinces, which means it was a national competition. Empat dari semuanya peserta dari Depok (including my school) dan sisanya ada yang dari Bandung, Manado, Bekasi and so on. We brought two songs - one was a must song, which means every choir groups that joined the competition had to brought it, and one was free song. Lagu bebas yang kita bawain adalah Untukku, lagunya Chrisye. And the great news is, kita menang peringkat ke-5, alias harapan kedua dari 15 sekolah yang ikut.

pcc and the alumni

Ketiga, hari guru yang jatuh di tanggal 25 November. Tapi kita ngasih surprise dua hari setelah hari guru. It was very beautiful. Tiga angkatan bekerjasama untuk kasih surprise untuk guru-guru di sekolahku, dan itu meriah banget. Sadly aku enggak punya foto lengkapnya, so that's it:(

I think 2014 is one of my favorite year, beside 2011 and 2012. 2014 itu banyak kejutan banget. Dari sukses bareng 9A, jalan ke Puncak bareng 9A, bisa masuk SMA yang aku mau, dapet kelas yang enak, pokoknya everything was great lah. 

And 2015 is coming in few days. I guess I should be hoping for something better than this year. :)